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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

New Life

Ok, sorry buat semua tertunggu-tunggu. Writer sedang menstablekan her emotion... Before this, God knows how many times I tried to write about everything that happen to me since Nov but I have no words to describe my feeling that time. Until I today, I feel better... and I think am ready to share with you.

But I wanted to highlight, this entry, bukan tujuan nya untuk menghina, menagih simpati or ape-ape jelah yang buruk. It just I wanted TO SHARE my experience, the worst thing happen to me and my family.

November 2009. We still in a VERY HAPPY mode dengan kelahiran Aariz. Life is busy and noisy. We have no maid to help - means no one officially taking care of Aariz. Lucky I have many unused leaves and I attached with no project. So I can clear my leaves and stay at home taking care my both sons. This is still okay. Bie had his difficult time with his business but i can say not that bad since he still can support us.

But, out of nowhere, atas sikap dengki, busuk hati MEREKA, they took away his business in just a blink. They reason is the business is not stable and they want to give to someone else. How would you feel, the business that you had run for over 3 year, has been taken by other people without any notice? Without any discussion? This business mean a lot to us. We have been up and down but Alhamdulillah we still survive. We believe this difficult time is only temporary, we just need to be positive. But they disagree. They still took it away from us.

December 2009. Financially not stable. Too many problem to solve. Bie still kene siapkan kereta2 customer, and no profit. ;( So, can you imagine if suddenly your income was blocked and you have 2 kids who still young and of course need a BIG expense? And not to forget still need to pay business expense jugak, sbb ade kete customer yang tak siap lagi that time. It hurts me, and it hurts me more thinking that this has been done by them whom I called FAMILY. They are more than happy to see us suffer. Memang macam drama sandiwara semase tu. Kite sllu rase, eh takkan la family buat camni.. But that's the fact. Even dah jatuh begini pun masih lagi cuba terus menjatuhkan lagi. Enough said.

At this time, my mom's maid pulak buat hal. This is totally another story but it really adding up our tense and pressure. Bleh pulak bile my mom balik Mekah dia berlakon konon kitorg dera dia bleh??? Saborr jelah.. The worst, my mom termakan cerita2 dia.. So suasana agak tegang... bukan agak, tapi amat tegang di rumah. Huhuh... Indon ni kalo bab berlakon mmg hebat. Padahal aku punye la ngam ngan dia mase my mom tade, ttbe lak dia create citer cam ni.. memang ba alif ba ya btul! Padahal sebenarnye dia putus cinta ngn bf dia.. She told me everything but when my mom came back and saw that she cant focus to do her work, my mom pun sound2 la dia kan.. Then tu la dia nak put the blame on us... Konon kitorg yang buat dia sedih murung semua-semua lah... Macam haremmmm kan? Fitnah baekkk punye.. Pastu bile jage Aariz ngn Zaim, amik sambil lewa je.. Mane aku tak hot kan.. Nak marah taleh... Helooooo am not desperate ok nak suh ko jage anak aku... Konon la nak tolong jage, tapi buat cincai.. Boleh blah ye indon... Banyak lagi option aku bleh cari... So sebab bengang ngn keje dia yg ntah hape2 tu, I banned her to touch my sons. Walopun thats means no one take care of my kids, we need to solve this.. Huhuh tension sungguh mase ni... Nursery Zaim dulu dah penuh, nursery lain tak dapat kepercayaan kami... Tuhan je yang tau, betapa panic nye saya bile cuti mule habis... ;( 

It's hard for me and Bie to accept this but we believe Allah yang bagi rezeki. Sejauh mana mereka tu berdengki and tak pernah putus asa mencarik pasal dan mencipta 1001 alasan untuk menyusahkan hidup kami, kami tetap percaya semua yang jadi ade hikmahnye. Cuma waktu tu, kene kuat semangat to be positive, bangun balik demi anak-anak. Yes, they both are our strength. Tapi sesungguhnye I am thankful to Allah, walopun sedang face 1001 dugaan, our life still full with laughter ;) But THEM, they have everything else but not a HAPPY family. Itu memang pasti. Sebab tu asik tak puas hati...

Everyday I pray hard for Allah to give me strength, to guide me, to show me a way to get out from this problem.
 
Alhamdulillah. One by one.
  • Bie is now employed. Not only that, he got promotion during his probation. Cool kan? Rezeki anak-anak ;) 
  • When I was down thinking about who going to babysit Aariz, Rina offer to send him to her mom. Aku memang terharu beb mak ko tolong jagekan Aariz. Sampai mati aku ingat jasa ko ngan mak ko... Appreciate sgt. *HUG!* - tears drop! huhuhu
  • Then maid sampai. so Aariz and Zaim stay with new maid. New maid, quite young, no experience but have a positive attitude. Not that good but still can be teach and all. I will give her time as she never has experience handling kids before...
  • My emotion become more stable skg. Yes I've been so stress so sad and so blues. My hubby used to be around me. When running your own business of course you have extra time with your wifey and kids. And you have many times to settle all things. After he got the job, he is so damn busy, going out as early 7am and going back late night at 10pm. I felt left out, feels like being dump by my own hubby... Sedeihhh ok... I am not used to eat alone, to handle all kids stuff from A to Z without his help. Do ask how many times I merajuk ok... huhuh... Mase tu dah le tade maid, jadi am so tired so exhausted. Balik keje jammed, pastu nak melayan anak lagi, keje rumah lagi, Zaim lak tak biase jugak Babah tade jadi sgt sensitive and tantrum... Aariz tgh lasak... Kene iron baju lagi.. hahaha ni pun nak masuk dalam list.. heheh.. Ok dulu tak pernah iron baju.. Skg Bie dah keje office, kene la smart kan... Hard time... Really hard for me to adjust my new routine. Bile sume bende terbeban di bahu sendiri... Bile Bie balik selalunye kids dah tido... Tapi skg dah okay. Memang Bie masih busy. Malah akan selalu outstation which kitorg memang tak pernah berpisah even 1 day.. Hopefully I can handle this.. huhuuh... Skg mostly dia akan fly ke Johor balik hari je.. Yang ni pun agak sengsara jugak saya menunggu di rumah.. huhuuh... Hopefully tadelah Bie kene pergi mane-mane lame-lame.. Tak sanggup you... Winduuu.. Auuuwwww.. 
And now, we make another BIG move. Move out from my mom's house. Leaving our hometown Melawati yang telah kami duduk since we were babies. We decided to start our new life at new place. Moving out to Puncak Jalil, nearby my office. Zaim will be in new school soon. Hope he doesnt mind to have new classmate, leaving his good friends, Nana, Hanif, Azim, Fiqa and Adi. Oh just want to share, the good thing about QDees is your fees tak burn if you move to other branch.. Best kan? Meaning to say kalo kite move out to other places, you can just continue to send your kids to any nearby QDees. Fees kalo dah byr kt branch lame, diorg akan transfer the payment. ;)

Cume, in this area, am not really into Qdees. Kinrara branch do gives homework for EDP class. Oh my, I totally disagree with this. Zaim blom pun 3 tahun, takkan nk kene buat homework. Lain Qdees lain management ok.  Qdees Puncak Jalil tade swimming lesson. Hmm Left only Seri Petaling, owned by Chinese. Tade building sendiri like Setiawangsa branch. 17 students in the class and the class is quite smaller...But 2 teachers... Dulu kelas Zaim besar, and only 7 students.. I dont know if Zaim can accept this new environment or not. I am actually nervous to think that he might not like his school like he does before.. Or else, I have to find another school for him. Let's just try first. Tak cuba tak tau kan? Tomorrow, Zaim will start his 2nd term with new branch. His classmate mixed, Malay, Chinese and Indian. Even they have foreigner as well.. Cute btul anak negro tu.. ;) I will update this esok.. ;) Hope I made the right choice.

Btw, it only take about 10 min for me to reach our home from office. So tade la stress jammed ;) Sempat bawak kids pergi playground petang2.. Bestt wwooooo... Pasal maid, I have no words to say, but Tawakkal to Allah. I believe Him whom help me all these while. Mudah-mudahan nothing bad happen. But I will do spot check jugak la... Tgh hari if I have extra time I am surely balik rumah check the kids... So far, my maid ok lagi. Nothing to doubt. Adelah skit2 buat silap jugak selame sebulan kerja ni tapi bile dah di tegur tu dia cuba utk improve her work..

Buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih. Biarlah ape pun terjadi, family is still a family. My mom's maid dah tunjuk belang dia bile dia mintak cuti nak balik tapi didnt return back here. So now my mom sendiri dah tau perangai dia... End of story. Bcz for me, it's not my style nak badmouth dia like she did to me. I am not the same level with her. I leave it to Allah to show my mom the truth. And THEM who set us in trouble dah say sorry over their attitude. So we forgive them but not to forget. But no matter what, we still love them. Biarlah orang buat kite tapi kite jangan buat orang. Let's move on... Tak payah berdendam, nanti sendiri sakit jiwa. Afterall, we have better life now.. ;)

Thank you Allah, Thank you friend who always be there when we had our difficult time... Thanks for your support. God bless you all.. And Thanks to my kids, being so comel and cute, that really made my day... Hehehe You both rocks.. Without you, Mommy and Babah not sure we can go through this problem... Thanks my heroes.. 

Itu je nak share. ;) Itu je.. panjang gileeeeee pun bleh cakap itu jeee. hahah mesti muak korang bace panjang2 camni.. huhuh..

Monday, March 29, 2010

Cak!

God knows how I miss blogging, how I miss my blogger friends too.. And maybe u guys miss me too hehe perasan mode hahah.. If not miss me, at least u miss to see my boys kan hahah sekali lagi perasan.. Izu la ni, cakap rindu rindu.. Kan makcik dah kembang dan terharu hahahah.. Oklah, untuk mengubat rindu, presenting the latest of Zaim and Aariz bambam.. 

Now at his 7 months, Aariz can say Maaa and Baaabaah... Most of the time baabaaaahh jelah yang keluar from his mouth.. ;P He can really sit unsupported... Stand if there is anything to hold and always terhantuk when he tries to walk.. Perasan kan mamat ni? Ade hati nak berjalan... Bile dah berdiri tu, biasenye dia akan toleh and say Haiiiii.. and dengan big smile nye, dia akan terus try to walk or terus rase nak kejar Zaim... And that time, gedebuk le jatuh.. Adehhh... Cian dia..

And bile nampak Mommy pakai tudung, maka dengan sekelip mate, dia akan melekat di kaki Mommy and peluk kaki Mommy... Kalo tak bawak, maka akan menangis and melepuk muke Bibik.. huhu..

 
As for Zaim... Hmmm I am really tired to talk to him. He talk non-stop, asking this and that. Make jokes and all. Kalo bab menyampuk tu pun bagi la kat dia... Ade saje nak bebel even when he is alone. Aariz pun lemas asik kene bebel je ngan Zaim... And he really copycat me for everything that I said to him or to someone else. He behave like me too. I really need to be patience as I know every single thing that I do, he will behave the same thing. The latest is, Zaim akan buat kerut dahi whenever I scold him, or questioning him why of his bad action. Or when he curious to know about something. Jenuh kerut dahi waiting for my answer.. And then when I ask him to think pun dia akan kerut dahi...

Sampaikan I wonder is it me yang selalu kerut dahi when talking or thinking about something? Or his Babah? Hahaah...
Banyak lagi nak share but time tak mengizinkan.. ;(

I know I owe u my story. Will try my best to update it very soon.. Hahah soon lagi.. Ampoooooonnn..

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Monday, March 1, 2010

And now I see the light at the end of tunnel...

I have a lots of thing in mind and lots of thing in my to-do-list.
We are actually on SHIFTING mode.

Family, Career, Education, Life, Home. 
All.

Leaving the dark, toward the light at the end of tunnel. But really hope that the light is not the train... Not sure if we ready to fall again after so many things happen in these past 4 months...

 

Will share about all these thing very soon. After long time struggling....





Wednesday, February 17, 2010

my lunch break ;)

 30 minutes a day during lunch time. 
Honestly, I feels so good when am sweat.. (dengan baju senaman lah... Kalo di waktu lain I really hate it...) ahaks.. poyo gile.. I know it is not necessary to sweat for good work out but for me sweating is really refreshing my body, and my mind. But maybe because am fat sebab tu lah senang tul nak berpeluh kot hahahah...
Btw, at the moment, this is the ONLY ME-TIME that I have... Gile kesian kan? 
I plan to exercise 5 days in a row, 30min a day and I will continue to exercise the rest of my life... ecewahhhh... Reason is, I feel that am not fit enough to handle my active kids... So this is only my initiative for being healthy, being fit. Healthy food? Nahhhh.. not now.. hahahahaha...

Ini bukan la misi menguruskan badan because tade maknenye berlari 30min tapi lepas tu membaham segala makanan yang ade. Ini adelah semata-mata supaya tidak pancit bile berkejaran dengan budak 2 orang itu. Tapi kalo indirectly I lose weight, kan ke bagus! ;) *Berangan*
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Sunday, February 14, 2010

Aariz - 6 months

Huhu Aariz sedang demam. Mommy sgt sedih + tired. But mesti buat jgk entry for Aariz. Gambar adelah hasil tangkapan BB.. Canon Mommy masuk ward. Zaim buat. :(

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Saturday, January 23, 2010

Aariz & Banana

Oh one funny story, that day we picked Zaim up from school. On the way back home, Aariz mengamuk sakan. Susu tanak, nenen tanak, puting pun tanak. Restless sangat. So I ask Bie if we can buy any fruit for him. Luckily, ade pulak kedai jual pisang. So try bagi kt Aariz.. hah! kemain sukeeee dia makan banana tu. Tanak dia kite suapkan. Nak mamam sendiri. Kalo tolong suap, terus majuk nangis-nangis.. Dia tepis-tepis tangan Mommy. Last-last Mommy biar je lah dia pegang pisang tu... Sambil-sambil tu sembang2 ngan Zaim. Sampai je rumah baru Mommy perasan Aariz diam je. Sekali rupenye dia dah tertido sambil hisap pisang tu... Macam-macam betul lah si Aariz ni. Bagi puting tanak. Kan dah tertido dengan pisang. Comot lak tu!
 

Teringat mase Zaim kecik-kecik dulu... Pun suke makan pisang.. ;)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Now I know my ABC!


Am proud Mommy... Baru paham kate pepatah, sejuk perut ibu mengandung... Rase seperti ingin menitiskan airmata kegembiraan...

Last nite, we were inside my car, while waiting for Babah grab something from house. Suddenly Zaim request to sit at driver's seat. Nak drive katenye... Hmmm Mommy pun okaylah... I let him play with the steering... Aariz pulak kalo dah tengok Zaim main drive, mule lah terlompat-lompat nak main sama... Kaki rebut jugak Aariz ni.. tak padan kecik... And sedang sibuk melayan kerenah Aariz, suddenly I was surprised, to see Zaim pointing his finger and start to spell...

P... R... O... T... O... N.... proton! 
Inilah PROTON yang di eja... 


Walauwehhhh... I never teach him how to spell that... Rasenye seingat-ingat Mommy, Babah pun tak ajar spelling Proton jugek... We just teach him all car's logo and type of car je... Yang tu memang Zaim khatam dah... Blame Babah dia ek... If me I prefer Zaim khatam alif ba ta dulu... ;P Yang paling best, he spell my PROTON duluuu dari AUDI babah.. kehekhek Jangan jeles Bie... He heart mine than yours.. ;P

OMG! In just 10 days at school, he already knows ABC!!! Of course lah ade silap sebutan sket2 but it is acceptable. I still cant believe it, he just 2 years and a half... With me, prior to school, he only knew certain alphabet, like A, B, M, W, O and X... Now, just point at any Capital letters, and Zaim can answer it easily! Thanks a lot Q-Dees... Amazing!

One day, he pointed at Kancil with L sign...

Zaim: Mommy ape tu? 
Mommy: Tu kan Kancil... by Perodua... Abang kan tau...

Zaim: Taklah.. tu 'AL' 
Mommy: -cant help laughing but proud..- not AL lah Abang, EL
Zaim: Oh nooooo... -overacting di situ, sambil pegang dahi- EL Mommy EL kan?
Mommy: Yes.. Clever! ;)

And now, I can see he prefer to look at plat number rather than type of car... Asal lalu tepi kereta, abih dia bace sume plat number tu... Imagine if we walk at parking lot... Jenuh okay nak tunggu dia abih bace... But as a parents, it is our job to encourage him... Hahah layaaannnnn... Janji Zaim pandai... Mommy relaaaaa ;)

Pon begitu, he still confuse between Q-Dees and Adidas... Rase nak tergelak pun ade bile dia repeat what I told him... "School Zaim Koyudis... Shoe Zaim Adides..." Cutenessssss!!!